Welcome to Part 10 of the weekly release of my book, Unless God Builds It: A Proposal to Radically Rethink the Church.
In the last post, I shared that the church systems we endorse often teach that relationship and discipleship are optional, even though from the pulpit we preach otherwise. We then looked at why it’s time for leaders to stop treating people like customers and for every Christian to take active ownership of one another’s spiritual growth.
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In this post, we begin Chapter 3 by stepping into the very first day of my house-church journey and walking through exactly what a typical, Spirit-led weekly gathering looks like in practice.
The Open Meeting
The morning of December 1, 2019, I paced my living room floor for a couple of hours, praying: God, show me what it looks like to build your church. I have no idea what I’m doing, but I believe that you know the way and will teach me.
I had just left the church I was working for as the Adult Discipleship Pastor, where I spent my final two months answering people’s questions about this new “house church” thing I was gearing up to do: how I planned to support myself, how the church would grow, how we’d guard against false teaching, what we’d do with the kids, etc. All these were questions with one straightforward answer: “I don’t know, but I’m going to seek the Lord and find out!”
With that chapter of my life now behind me, this was finally Day 1 of seeking the Lord and finding out. As I prayed that morning, God’s first move was to interrupt my prayer with a phone call.
On the other end of the line was a man named Jonathan, who had been leading a church in his home for about seven years. Someone had given me his information a few weeks earlier, and I left him a voicemail, which he was just now returning—not coincidentally—on the first day of my new adventure. He invited me over to his house on the spot, and (since I had literally nothing else going on) I went, eager to see what God had planned.
For three hours, we got to know each other—sharing our backgrounds, our hearts for God, our desires for the Church, and our theological convictions. I remember thinking to myself (and commenting to my wife afterward), “I’ve never met anyone like this before.” He seemed so Spirit-filled, despite not having attended a “normal” church in years. Go figure!
Part of Jonathan’s story involved a couple of trips to India shortly after he was saved, where he learned about the spiritual life and ministry from a man who he felt was the closest thing to an apostle that he’d ever met. Jonathan spent some months backpacking with him through remote villages and visiting various churches that this man had planted. One thing in particular that Jonathan picked up from him and brought back to the States was the way that he taught the churches to conduct their weekly gatherings. Jonathan had been operating his house church this way ever since, and he shared it with me that day.
I’m paraphrasing what Jonathan told me about their gatherings, but essentially, he said, “We all just sit in a circle, direct our eyes toward Jesus, and let him lead us wherever he wants. Nothing is pre-scripted. There is no official liturgy. There is sometimes a lot of silence. But this isn’t a lack of structure or design; it is the intended structure and design, meant to train people to depend on Christ as opposed to the next item on the agenda—giving the Spirit of God full control of the gathering.”
As you might imagine, this talk with Jonathan seemed like a divine appointment to me. I had never read a book about house churches. I had never been to a house church myself. And I had never met someone who had been to a house church, either. Again, I had little to no idea what I was doing, besides being committed to relying on God for everything. And here—on my first day of this new adventure, while praying for direction—God sent me someone with experience and practical wisdom that I could immediately apply to my first Sunday gathering. (He also sent me a friend in Jonathan, whom I’ve been doing this alongside ever since.)
Before this conversation, I hadn’t decided how to structure our weekly gatherings, but I felt that they would probably look different than any kind of Sunday church service I had seen. I knew that meeting in homes didn’t guarantee any improvement if we just did all the same things you would typically do in a church building. While there are certainly benefits to meeting in a smaller setting (like those we talked about in the last chapter), the place of meeting or the number of people in attendance was not going to be the one thing that changed everything. My basic conviction was that the “silver bullet” for the Church always has been, and always will be, the Holy Spirit—a conviction that I hold just as strongly today.
What Jonathan presented to me that day hit a chord in my spirit—a way of meeting that, above all things, emphasizes letting Jesus be the leader. What I didn’t know then was that Jonathan’s model wasn’t a new invention, but a return to an ancient pattern I was about to discover in the Bible, which has become foundational to my understanding of equipping the Church and making disciples. From here on out, I’ll refer to this way of gathering as an “open meeting”—due to its emphasis on open participation (i.e., being radically open to what the Spirit may do through any member within the gathering), not on being “open” or inviting to everyone. Having practiced it every week for almost six years now, I feel more strongly than ever that the Church must return to some version of this, and I’ll make my case for this throughout the rest of the chapter.
What Happens in a House Church Meeting?
One of the first questions I typically get asked about house church is: “What do your Sunday services look like?” In one way, the answer is very simple. But in another way, the concept is so foreign to most people that it requires a lot of explaining.
Each week, our churches gather in someone’s home (although any meeting place is fine). It’s typically anywhere from five to twenty-five people, including children, but we know that just two or three people gathered in Jesus’ name constitute a church (Matthew 18:20). We enjoy some initial chatter as we wait for everyone to arrive, and we seat ourselves in a circle around the room.
At the start of the meeting, we all turn the eyes of our hearts to Jesus in prayer, asking and expecting him to lead the gathering. We allow space for silence throughout our time together—not awkward silence (at least, it doesn’t have to be) but intentional. For the most part, we’ve learned to be comfortable with the silence, though it wasn’t easy at first and still isn’t always easy for me. But it is important because it leaves room for the Holy Spirit to dictate what happens next.
As each person feels led to share something that God is stirring up in them, we encourage and expect one another to do so. Each of us does our best to share whatever gift from the Holy Spirit is at work in us that day. In the same way, we may perceive that the Spirit is not prompting us to say anything, in which case, we faithfully remain quiet.
So, for example, here’s what a normal gathering in my home might look like.
I call everyone’s attention to let them know that we’re getting started. I open with prayer, welcoming the Lord to lead us, and only praying as I feel prompted by the Holy Spirit. As I sense that it’s time for me to finish praying, I fall silent, leaving space for others to discern if the Spirit is prompting them to share.
Perhaps someone feels a desire to pray more. Believing the Spirit of God stirs these desires within them, they pray out loud so that we can all join them in agreement. A couple more people might pray, and then someone’s prayer stirs someone else to start singing. If we know the words, we all join in. After the song, there may be another song, or we may sit in silence again, waiting on the Lord to move through someone else.
At this point, someone might share a revelation they received that week or a testimony of something God is doing in their life. That inspires more prayers of thanksgiving and worship. Maybe someone has a scripture on their heart, so they read it, and this causes someone else to share a verse that comes to mind.
As each of these things occurs, we may start to see a theme arise and perceive what the Lord wants to teach us that morning.
Often, I will feel led to teach, but I am always waiting for the Spirit to give me clarity, and I am willing to remain silent if I am not confident that my teaching will build up the church that day. The question is not whether what I have to say is true, you see. The question is whether what I have to say is what God has to say that morning. If it isn’t what God is saying to our church in that moment, then I want nothing to do with it in that moment. We’re not in the business of tickling ears and puffing each other up with knowledge, but of ministering Christ, who is alive. Therefore, I’m always trying to discern whether Christ wants to say anything specifically through me, and this is what others are trying to discern for themselves, as well. We’ll talk more extensively about this discernment process in the next chapter.
Sometimes I sense that others in the gathering have gone full-on “spectator mode” and are idly waiting for me to speak, since I’m the “leader,” and that’s what they’ve been trained to do. Instead, they should be looking to their true Shepherd, Teacher, and Leader (who is Christ). When I sense this, I will try to avoid teaching with my mouth because I am trying to point them away from relying on me and toward Christ. Any God-appointed shepherd should understand that this is ultimately their role. I tell them, “If it doesn’t look like I’m leading, that is my leading. If it doesn’t look like I’m teaching, that is my teaching.” Again, here, silence is important.
Besides me, others may also teach. It just depends on what we discern God is doing that day. And usually, teachings turn into open conversations that turn into prayer for one another and so forth.
A very important aspect of all of this is that whatever is said is liable to be weighed by the others who are present. If someone has a concern about something that was said, then it’s their duty to speak honestly about what they perceive so that everyone in the gathering might weigh the differing perceptions and seek to find unity on the matter. We’ll talk about this practice of collective discernment in greater detail later.
Last, but certainly not least, we enjoy the Lord’s Supper together every week. This is not out of obligation—we do not believe there is a law around this—but out of a genuine desire for it and faith that it benefits our souls. No matter what else occurs, the Lord’s Supper ensures the gospel is always proclaimed.
In the church that I lead, this gathering normally lasts about two hours, but it will often go a little longer. One of the other churches regularly meets for over three hours. (They’re the more “charismatic” bunch.) The length isn’t particularly relevant except that it’s not predetermined. If God’s still moving, we want to be sensitive enough to realize it and not end the meeting prematurely. But on the flip side, if God has done all he wants to do in that setting, it doesn’t make us any less holy to end a little earlier than usual.
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Questions for the Comments:
How much of your weekly church experience is spent passively consuming a pre-planned agenda versus actively listening to what the Holy Spirit might want to do through you or others in the room?
If your church removed the pre-scripted liturgy, the sermon outline, and the sermon itself, what would be left? Would the congregation know how to wait on the Lord together?
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In Christ,
Jake